In life, I’ve come to be a little more transparent. And I guess
today is testimony day because these thoughts have been rumbling and tumbling
through my mind like building blocks for a couple days now. Quiet time can be
THE best time to hear from God if we only allow it. I say this all of the time
and I stand on it. But the truth of the matter is; a lot of us don’t want to
hear what God has to say because the truth hurts. It’s a mighty big pill to
swallow if you’re not in a place to receive the truth, digest it, & then
make a change for the better from it. I’m not talking about the truths everyone
can see on the outside on a daily basis. Nope. Unh Unh. I’m speaking of the
truths that only you and God know about. The ones that are buried deep in
there; the ones that hurt to think about sometimes because if you do the
confidence and faith you had will crumble and go back to square one.
Part of my truth is; I used to be weed head. Mind you…the key
words are USED TO BE. So please don’t go calling or emailing
my job. Thank you! Admitting the problem is the first step to recovery right?
Anyone who truly knows me knows I was an advocate for legalizing it and had the
same outlook a lot of people continue to have about it. God put it here so it
must be okay right? It’s natural and I’m not bothering anyone when I’m chilling
right? At least I’m not a crack head or coke fiend right? And trust me; I’m not
ashamed of my past which is why I guess I can speak freely about some things
now.
The thing I’m finding from trying to live righteously is when the
enemy knows your past; just like God does; it will use that to try and weaken
you. It will come at you to try and entice you back into the very bondage
you’ve been freed from. I used to look at smoking as the proverbial cold beer
after a long, hard day. So as an opening, my mind tried to revert back to those
days of coming home to “unwind”. One day after work recently, my mind said, “it
sure would be nice to roll a fatty one mo’ time”. I immediately pushed my
thoughts into a different direction to stop the craving in its tracks so to
speak. Let me tell ya’ll something about prayer...it’s a powerful tool when
applied correctly. Instead of reliving that feeling I used to get from smoking
I went to my knees and had a conversation with God, which leads to me to the
reason I’m writing this post.
Along time ago I came to my personal conclusion of WHY I smoked. I
didn’t need rehab for me to dig deep. My counselor was the man Himself. Right
in the midst of a session He spoke to my heart; stripped me of all the vain
excuses I usually gave of why. It was a very painful experience. Wounds of life
I thought were long healed re-opened. That hardened scab burst and all the
stinky puss and blood seeped from my heart. Along with it, tears I thought I
was through shedding. My truth? Smoking was part of the bandage I used to cover
it all up. It wasn’t to unwind; it wasn’t to help me write; it wasn’t because
it felt good; it was because of pain I chose to keep hidden from myself for
fear I would crumble back to nothing.
Ohhhh but I know a man named Jesus! Today, I stand on renewed
strength and a peace of mind weed could never give me. That high was only
temporary. But the high of the Holy Spirit is everlasting! Trust me when I tell
you this! If your someone reading this and still partake then I challenge you
to take a long hard look deep into your heart and ask yourself the very same
question; why? Why continue to temporarily escape when you can be permanently
free? Because you know what? When my high was gone and my munchies munched; my
life was still what it was. My son was still dead. Bills were still due. I
still had to get myself up and make it through another day at an unfulfilling
job. I challenge you to begin loving yourself the way God loves us. I challenge
you to try prayer instead of escape. I challenge you to come to Jesus and repent.
Sometimes, facing our deepest pain is the beginning of greater blessings just
waiting on the other side of that pain. A freedom so profound you won’t want to
look back! I sing loud and actually mean it….I’m freeeeeee praise the Lord I’m
free! No longer bound! No more chains holding me! My soul is resting! It’s just
a blessing! Praise the Lord! Halleluiah! I’m free!!!
Peace and love beautiful people! I leave with you the following
scriptures: 1 Corinthians 10:13, Romans 5:1-11, 1 John 2:15-17, Galatians
1:20-21, 2 Corinthians 12:1-10, & lastly 1 Peter 5:8 <--
Be sober. Be vigilant. Why do you think they call marijauana ‘the gateway’
drug??? Those ideas we get from being in that space could lead to something way
more sinister than your average high. Be careful, demonic possession is real.
by: Khyrra
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